On track, right?

I think I've reached a nice limbo.

My Italian is a bit bland and I'm forgetting English. It's like I can't communicate and I actually have to think about the words that come out of my mouth constantly.

Really, when people speak English to me now, I have a small panic attack. ("What are you saying--?! Oh you're not speaking Italian...") I remember the other day I couldn't remember the word "table".

 I've also been thinking and dreaming in Italian for the past couple of weeks, but I never took the time to notice until a few days ago. There was no jump for joy or squeal, it was just more a small revelation like "Oh that's cool." And then moving on. Haha fail///

Eeesh! Oh well I think my AFS coordinators will finally be quiet. I can't believe my host mom actually talks to them. She wants to make sure every rule of AFS is followed. And I'm not going to lie, it's not fun when they are.

She told me the other day while we were on vacation that I need to stop everything that has to do with English, because of course it will slow down my learning process of Italian. She also stated you can find a lot of English in Italy already so it's not particularly good for me. But just try to stop speaking, writing, reading (blah, blah, blah) as much English as possible.

Ok...

Now I don't think that was exactly fair for her to say. Why?

Because my older host sister, her daughter Sara, is on her own foreign exchange in Costa Rica at the moment like me and she contacts her every single day. Sara is supposed to be learning Spanish which is very similar to Italian. So it must be a bit easier for her.

But don't you think she's slowing her process down by writing to her everyday on Facebook and Sky-ping every other night in Italian? =| It's probably none of my business how much they contact each other but it's kind of... creepy. To me it is anyways. I think my host mom really really misses her daughter because every morning she gets on the family iPad and does the daily stalking of her daughter's Facebook profile...

Which brings me to a point of: Italians are really close to their children. Really close. Constant kisses and hugs, childish nicknames and cuddling, wanting to know every single detail of their day, wanting to know what they're thinking, etc.. It's interesting. It's not just my family that does this, it's others, too. Either that, the kids are in screaming matches or don't get along with one of their parents. Normal teenage angst, yes?

One side of me is happy; My parents are more involved in their children's lives and they feel loved. Other side of me is stifled and annoyed; My parents suffocating their children's space and babying them. (Oh and also my space. =\)

(Now the thing with living with small children is that I'm also treated in their mentality by my mother. She thinks 17 years old is a small child's age. It's young but come on, I'm not a baby! She wouldn't even let me watch the TV Show Supernatural, in which I watch in the US, because it was too "explicit". I had to stop myself from pulling out my hair. It's so frustrating at times. I was probably in danger mentally and physically the moment I decided to leave my house in the States to come live out of my comfort zone in Italy. That's courageous enough in itself. I'm sure no childish person would make that decision.)

Also, I think I have to accept now that it is just in my little brother's and sister's nature to complain and cry. They constantly manipulate my host parents with their tears and it works. I can't believe it. My little sister is 7 years old, so yeah I knew she would cry sometimes, BUT EVERY SINGLE DAY? Is that normal? Today is the first day where she didn't cry at all. Everyday since I've arrived in Italy she has cried because she's wanted attention or something else petty. Also, my 13 year old brother cries when he is complaining and my host parents ask him to do something reasonable, ("Davide, please clean up your room a  bit."), and he doesn't want to.  He doesn't cry everyday, but he cries more than what I expected of a 13 year old boy...

If my parents yell at them, they immediately apologize afterword and then proceed to give them a handful of kisses. Then in the verbatim words of my host mother, "I'm sorry my love!" or "Forgive me, my treasure, my small child be strong!" If my little brother and sister came to my house in the US, they would probably think it was a hell hole. We were smacked and beaten if we talked back or didn't follow rules. Here, my parents don't even lift a finger against their children.

My brother and sister use their tears on my parents but I make sure they don't work on me. When I don't give them what they want, they get angry and start calling me unflattering Italian adjectives and sometimes throw pillows at me. What the freak.

It has taken an immense amount of patience to get over this. I keep having to remind myself they are young and will grow older. It's just a phase.

Since I'm not in the States I don't feel rightly entitled to yell at them. I remember one time I yelled at Davide for annoying me and my host mom didn't respond so well. My tolerance has gone up over 110%. I don't yell at people anymore when I'm angry. I just try to remain calm and I don't ever remember being like that...

Time flies so fast.

Which brings me to a point of New Years' and New Year's Resolutions.

I was probably the only teen in Italy who didn't go party.

Uh-huh. Yeah I asked a great amount of people to hang out with me but they were all "busy". Well, can't say I didn't try. So I just went to a small party with my parents and their friends. They were old, I was bored, so I read children's' English book and studied Italian. Whoopty doo.

I didn't make a New Year's Resolution either... I've been happy with the way I've been conducting my life. OuO So I guess even though a week after New Year's it's not too late to make up one on the spot.

I want to be an all around better person. Just continue to do my best in everything everyday and to have courage no matter what.

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The last day of break for school vacation. Bring it on.